I'm tired, but I'm not SICK and tired

On Saturday, Valerie and I were on a long run when we found ourselves in complain mode;  "My knees hurt.  I'm getting old.  I'm so tired.  I wish the compression pants could compress EVERYTHING and not just squeeze it up and above the waist band.  Are we done yet?"  Then I had a thought, well more of a mental image really.  THIS mental image.

This photo is from the very first 5K race (3.1 mi) that we participated in.  We were both a good 30 - 40 lbs heavier than we are today.  It took everything in me to finish that race.  I had one public goal:  To finish and not die and one personal goal:  To possibly finish under 30 min. (I squeezed by in 29:31)

After considering our first race, and realizing that we were currently at mile 6 of an 8 mile run, I had a moment of clarity.  I remember very clearly what it felt like to have the extra weight to bear.  I remember before making changes to my daily habits, I was tired all. the. time!  Not the "I'm overwhelmed and have lots to do" kind of tired, but the "I just want to sit on the couch and not move ...ever" kind of tired.  I was a slave to food, quite literally.  I felt the need to open the pantry and find anything sweet to eat pretty much every time I walked by it.  If there was some type of treat in the house, I felt deprived until I had some....or a lot.

In that moment of remembering, I realized that yes, it's hard to run 8 miles, and yes, my body does get a little older every year, but I do NOT feel like I did then.  I'm sore and achy at times, but I'm not tired every single moment of the day anymore and I don't feel the need to eat everything sweet in the house until it's gone either.

Though this photo is actually from a couple of years ago (Valerie, I think it's time we get new pics!) it represents the size and approximate fitness level we are at today.  We are mid-training for the SLC Half Marathon in April!

I'm glad I had that "moment" to remember where I've been and help me to be grateful for where I am today, even if it's not exactly where I want to be.  Every choice I make matters and can lead me closer to where I want to be or further away.   It's my choice to make and I'm grateful for that choice.

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